Spoiled jocks and bimbos have flooded the beach
Muscular bodies waxed and lotioned, spiky hairdos bleached
A raucous calamity of grinding butts, horny jocks pursue loose sluts
As the debauchery proceeds an unseen menace approaches as they glut
Hideous abominations, marine behemoths emerge
From the darkest bowels of the ocean the demonic tyrants surge
Amorphous beasts, blobs of gelatinous flesh, things with massive claws infest
Violent appetite, lust for death, for yuppie blood they do obsess

The scene switches in an instant from joyous decadence to bloodshed
All the hot-bodied jocks and sluts are quickly becoming dead
I always thought Lovecraft was right in the stories that he told
From across the street I laough out loud as I watch the massacre unfold
Countless pincers rip and sever the bodies that they snatch
Spiked chitin legs impale as tentacles whip and stretch
A translucent blob like a jellyfish pulses forward for the catch
Poisonous fluids dissolve the flesh that’s absorbed within to digest
Oh my goodness what a scene, I can’t believe I’m seeing this
What a bother this is happening now when I really have to piss
In all the terror and chaos I relieve myself behind a trash can
This way I don’t miss a second of the massacre at hand
What a show I’m seeing as I finish up my peeing
Those ancient marine monstrosities are shredding every single human being
Why do I always have to pee when there is bloodshed set before me?
I know it’s because I drink coffee but I get a headache without caffeine

I just can’t stand these college kids, so vulgar, mean and rude
I hate dealing with their disrespect and spoiled attitudes
I would never let a child of mine behave in such a way
That’s why I laugh and enjoy the spectacle of the massacre today
It seems that the feast is nearly finished, blood and guts soaking the sand
The screams are now dying out, but will the beasts advance further inland?
I’m glad to say that is not the case as they pull back into the sea
So happy I got to witness this and wasn’t in the restroom to pee